In appreciating how serene I can be identifying with the following prayer by Thomas Merton:
Prayer of Thomas Merton
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself...
and the fact that I think I am following your will. does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you... does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I know that if I do this... you will lead me by the right road... though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always...
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of I will not fear, for you are ever with me... and will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Amen.
As a survivor, over-analyzer par excellence , parent of three sons, husband, caregiver, someone who has not been able to grasp what having a sense of agency means in navigating life. I don’t do life, I seem to struggle only with my internal machinations and what I have erroneously believed to be an accurate record of my own declarative memory. No one ( many therapists , MDs ) have been able to get me out of my own head locked in a life-long fight to heal the effects of terror. SO, the gift I have finally received is representative of the self- perspective described in Merton’s prayer. I don’t have to know or fear what’s coming next I can enjoy living in today! I love what Martha Nussbaum has written about accepting the basic insecurity of existence: “ the condition of being good is that it should always be possible for you to be morally destroyed by something you couldn’t prevent. To be a good human being is is to have a kind of openness to the world, an ability to trust uncertain things beyond your own control, that can lead you to be shattered in very extreme circumstances for which you were not to blame. That says something very important about the human condition of the ethical life: that it is based on a trust in the uncertain and on a willingness to be exposed; it’s based on being more like a plant than like a jewel, something rather fragile,but whose very particular beauty is inseparable from it’s fragility.”
There, I said it or rather Martha Nussbaum has described my own experience of life.
Hugs, thank you for putting your heart beats to paper so I may receive your gifts.
The world inside our minds is so convincing! It's also incredibly refreshing when we realize how much control we have over our own perceptions, as you have seen. No outsider can get us there, it's up to us to create that inner separation between our thoughts / feelings and the mindful, responsive self that can step back and observe before making conscious choices about how to interpret and act. Thank you for sharing your journey, your inspirations, and your growth! Would you mind if I re-stacked a quote from your comment to Notes?
I am grateful that so much of the writing in Substacks I find thoughtful and the authors kindred spirits. It is daily pulling me into taking what is in my journals and sharing my messy but beautifully loving life journey.
I have been nourished and motivated by being part of your The Messy Human writing. I recently turned 75 and have been journaling for 30 years. I am grateful that
Wonderfully liberating and with practice routines that help me reframe my perspective. Muchas Gracias
I'm so glad this was helpful! Thanks for reading so regularly and using my exercises :)
In appreciating how serene I can be identifying with the following prayer by Thomas Merton:
Prayer of Thomas Merton
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself...
and the fact that I think I am following your will. does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you... does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I know that if I do this... you will lead me by the right road... though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always...
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of I will not fear, for you are ever with me... and will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Amen.
As a survivor, over-analyzer par excellence , parent of three sons, husband, caregiver, someone who has not been able to grasp what having a sense of agency means in navigating life. I don’t do life, I seem to struggle only with my internal machinations and what I have erroneously believed to be an accurate record of my own declarative memory. No one ( many therapists , MDs ) have been able to get me out of my own head locked in a life-long fight to heal the effects of terror. SO, the gift I have finally received is representative of the self- perspective described in Merton’s prayer. I don’t have to know or fear what’s coming next I can enjoy living in today! I love what Martha Nussbaum has written about accepting the basic insecurity of existence: “ the condition of being good is that it should always be possible for you to be morally destroyed by something you couldn’t prevent. To be a good human being is is to have a kind of openness to the world, an ability to trust uncertain things beyond your own control, that can lead you to be shattered in very extreme circumstances for which you were not to blame. That says something very important about the human condition of the ethical life: that it is based on a trust in the uncertain and on a willingness to be exposed; it’s based on being more like a plant than like a jewel, something rather fragile,but whose very particular beauty is inseparable from it’s fragility.”
There, I said it or rather Martha Nussbaum has described my own experience of life.
Hugs, thank you for putting your heart beats to paper so I may receive your gifts.
The world inside our minds is so convincing! It's also incredibly refreshing when we realize how much control we have over our own perceptions, as you have seen. No outsider can get us there, it's up to us to create that inner separation between our thoughts / feelings and the mindful, responsive self that can step back and observe before making conscious choices about how to interpret and act. Thank you for sharing your journey, your inspirations, and your growth! Would you mind if I re-stacked a quote from your comment to Notes?
Please feel free to re-stack, Marisol
Good Morning Marisol,
I have an answer to your thoughtful question. I have come a ways in appreciation
I am grateful that so much of the writing in Substacks I find thoughtful and the authors kindred spirits. It is daily pulling me into taking what is in my journals and sharing my messy but beautifully loving life journey.
You’re the best kind of reader to have! Thank you, it means a lot. What subjects have you been most boosted by journaling on lately?
I have been nourished and motivated by being part of your The Messy Human writing. I recently turned 75 and have been journaling for 30 years. I am grateful that