Welcome!

What's this Messy Human thing all about?

There's no need to push, as if growth is something to be achieved with gold stars. It’s alright to relax into the process. Accepting our messy, flawed selves is the basis from which our transformation blossoms.

Accepting the messiness of human existence is the basis for finding peace in the whole of our experience, from the lowest lows to highest highs.

Tired of working so hard to keep it all together?

Hungering for a little tenderness towards yourself?

Ready for a more easeful, self-accepting way to navigate the hard times and hard feelings that we all inevitably face?

Here at The Messy Human, I share purposeful practices, revealing research, and relatable reflections on living whole, raw, and real.

Self Acceptance

It’s okay to stop the self-shaming. It’s not helping you be better, I promise. Sometimes you're in the shit, and that's totally fine. Scream, cry, stomp your feet. Feel the badness.

Biologically, the chemicals and hormones driving our emotions rush in and flush out of our system quickly. You'll get through this. Let it out. Breathe through it. Dance or jiggle or shake or shout. And remember to love yourself exactly as you are, right now, big bad feelings and all.

Love the mess, the imperfect, and the unfinished. Wrap your arms around your failures and send some big fat adoration to all your flaws. If you find a way to love and accept what exists right now, it’s the fastest way to free yourself from it, paving the way for growth.

Gentle Shifts

Guess, what? It’s possible to transform your badness into badassery. When you work with your feelings, you'll elevate quickly.

You can notice and name your feelings, then give yourself space to ask what information these feeling guides are giving you. Do you need to speak up or take action?

If you choose to embrace your messiness as a source of useful information you can unlock greater capacity to do what needs to be done. You can shift from reactive, difficult moments back to equanimity and calm more quickly. You can set kind boundaries and own your choices.

Play & Connection

It's magical when you discover you can be messy and still show up without shame. Instead of playing the game, see if you can change it.

You can be an imperfect human and still lead others. You can feel crappy and still be lovable. You can make mistakes, forgive yourself, and be forgiven. You can even sleep on your own circadian rhythm no matter that some CEO wakes up at 4am or some genius does her best work by staying up all night.

Embracing your own flawed humanity and that of others without judgement might just be the ticket to creating rituals of connection. You may open up more space for play and creativity.

There is no perfect pinnacle. When you realize you've grown and yet still remain messy, it's a humbling reminder you have to live like this forever.

It's a cycle, this messy human thing, so if we can learn to enjoy it, all the better.

Accept the imperfection of human life and find a freer existence in a flawed state of happiness. Connect with the flow of things and revel in your messy, magic experience.

Each time you find yourself disconnected, shut down, or feeling down, it’s an opportunity to return, yet again, to find self acceptance, explore gentle shifts, and lean into playful connectivity.

In this newsletter, I offer practical exercises, tips, reflection prompts and insights.

I write about hard won lessons in my own life that you'll probably recognize.

I sprinkle in my fascination with psychology, brain science, leadership, emotions, and more.

And something keeps blowing my mind: ancient spiritual practices and modern scientific findings are starting to align. So I write about that too.

Join a community of like-minded friends as we let go of old "achievement" checklists and re-define success on our own terms, more mindfully, humanely, and messily.