Hitting Pause, Let's Breathe

Paid subscribers will not be charged till January

My dearest readers and subscribers,

Thank you!

It’s very nearly American Thanksgiving and I have to extend deep gratitude to have you here, reading what I write. It means a lot to me to know that I’m offering something of interest, and hopefully of value.

Every time I get a comment, like, note or share, it impacts the part of me that wants to make a difference. It warms the part of me that needs to feel valued.

For me, YOU make the effort of writing so, so worth it. To think that something I have experienced and learned from, and then wrote about, might have helped you through something of your own, that’s what I’m aiming for and what keeps me writing.

Hitting Pause

Writing for you is what makes it hard for me to hit pause on The Messy Human. And yet I need to do so for the next two months. I have a move to a new city coming up, and a number of other life things to sort out.

Plus, we all have the holidays ahead. I hardly expect anyone to be sitting around reading endless newsletters. Which means that I hope this is a good time for everyone to have a little pause.

I am pausing all paid subscriptions until January 15.

I may post between now and then if I get inspired and have the time. But I may not, and I don’t want to be making promises I can’t keep.

Meanwhile, please don’t forget me!

Send topic requests for the New Year! Or drop me a note and say hello!

Or inspire me to write with an email telling me about your need for emotional sustenance mid-family gathering!

Or talk to me about those alone feeling moments the holidays seem to manufacture. (Hmm, I may write about that anyway… lord knows I have had my fare share.)

My one ask for you (you’ll never guess)

Be kind and gentle to yourself each day. In the inner AND outer ways. As these busy year-end times approach, with the hectic nature of all that they entail, it’s the most grounding thing you can do.

Below are a few ways to achieve a bit more self-kindness everyday. Could you try them? If so, write them down! Review regularly! Enjoy and play with what works!

Try...

1. Be a Bar Lowerer: Reconsider the bar you set and whether it’s what is truly necessary. Would expecting something less of yourself in terms of output or activity allow you to show up more lovingly and kindly to others and/or to yourself?

2. Control, Alt, Delete! Can you delete something from your to-do list without doing it? Challenge yourself to find one item each day.

3. Flow with those Feels: Pause to notice your feelings before sharing them. Give yourself a little inner hug in that moment. Say, “it’s okay to feel this, and I love my survival instincts for feeling it in order to protect me.” Do this even if you’re feeling awful rage, hatred, disgust… or worse. Actually, do this especially if you are! Feelings of all stripes are all totally okay as an initial reaction, and luckily, as adults we don’t have to act on them! Yet when we can be gentle about the aspect of our humanity (our human biology) that will always have these kinds of reactions, it gets so much easier to step out of the heat and into a more moderated, level-headed expression of our feelings.

4. Try Out Cool Communication: Try saying the phase, “I find that upsetting,” delivered in a very calm tone, no heat at all, whenever something is said or done that leads to the desire to fly the F^@k off the handle. I’m gonna be practicing this one along with you for sure.

5. Get Jiggy With It… All: If you feel alone or overwhelmed, dispirited or hopeless, repeat to yourself the words, “I’m connected to every living being through the energy that pulses within all the molecules we breathe and eat and drink and which we exhale and expel. The energy in me is the energy of all of life.” Try it, it’s nice!

6. Be a Lovely Love Dork. When in doubt, intentionally shower love on yourself for a hot minute. It will help you shower love on others. Put your hands over your chest and close your eyes and just feel some love for your own being and your own life. Give yourself some compliments that are so over the top you laugh. Then whisper, “and it’s actually true, love,” even if it feels dumb. Then open your eyes and see if things look a little different.

What else might you suggest to other readers in the comments?

xo,

Marisol